Growing-Up Grown

Published in DailyGrito

I graduated college, an increasing rarity for Latino males. Now, I reside in the so-called “real” world.

It is not uncommon for the children of Latina/os to be a family’s translator. As far as I can remember--at the age of ten--I was arguing with the electric company, ordering cable, fighting parking tickets in court, doing income-tax returns, cooking and cleaning the house. Many of us have been in the real world all our lives. The infantilization of outspoken young people is certainly responsible for making these experiences invisible.

As a non-English speaking Latina, my mother began to work as a bartender in the early ‘90s. Soon after, because of economic need, she began working as an exotic dancer in the highway crack-dens of Northern New Jersey. One of the most spectacular memories of my childhood took place at a court in Paterson N.J. I was sixteen or so. I had known for years now that my mother was a dancer. She asked me to go with her to court as she had had a “problem” a couple years ago that needed resolution. She explained to me that as she was dancing, and an undercover cop (enjoying the show nevertheless) had slipped a dollar into her belt (this is illegal). She was arrested, and needed to clear her record before applying for citizenship. I thought it was going to be another quick-ten-minute-argument with the credit card company. Come to find out, she was charged with a felony for prostitution and clearly had no idea what had gone on.

By sixteen, I was working in Newark as a piano instructor, taking the 39 Bus in the late and lonely nights of Penn station. By seventeen, I was applying to college, (by myself) filing FAFSTA, while the only instruction I had from my mother was, “good men go to college.”

Despite her hard work and dedication, my mother was always at odds with this country -- both culturally and financially. In search of providing me with a middle -class lifestyle, she sacrificed much of her selfhood. We originally lived in West New York, NJ, and lived a very modest lifestyle, because of our search for Americanism, she decided to moves us out of W.N.Y because there were “too many Hispanics”. Internalized racism is a hugely damaging element in immigrant culture, the obsession with arriving at American--whatever that means--often makes us work against our interests and turn on our communities.

With the job situation worsening for my mother, and the excessive demands of a young son, trying to invent himself in our world of fast-pace demand and consumerism, everyday life became unbearable. We fell into debt, and lost everything, months before I left to attend the University of New Hampshire.

I agonize over the fact that my mother’s financial situation was in such despair at the time of my entering college. My mother was left in the street, her car repossessed, her apartment lost, her furniture on the curb, her life destroyed. But, her son was attending an American university. My education would not have happened if I did not have my grandmother's financial support. Making the reality this: many Latino/s who do not have the privilege I had, could never aspire to go to a place like the University of New Hampshire, especially now, when they are nearly private because of the “live free or die” nonsense that runs that crazy state. The people of New Hampshire are wonderful, and I enjoyed my time in the state, but their idea of funding public education is profoundly misguided.

I struggle with the fact that after 25 years of my mother coming into this country she still does not know English. She understands here and there, but I never made an effort to teach her. Now, I write about her experience in a language that she cannot read. This is a tremendous tension for all of us who write in English about a community's interest who does not understand the language. Especially because it is difficult to see where the line is between me using my mother's experience as yet another way to exploit the experience of Latina women, or as an honest gesture of my love for her and respect for her life.

I might now be a “proper” member of American society, yet my mother is left with nothing.

Despite it all, the day before graduating college, I sat on my porch in Dover, New Hampshire, and watched the sunrise as the bitter cold of New England pulled at my skin. Looking outward, I felt fear--fear of graduating without a job, of bringing the romantics of my adolescence to an end, panic of not knowing, of moving-in with my mother, of having no direction.

I am slowly realizing my foolishness, and assessing the reality now, that I can live a comfortable life because of her sacrifice. What is even more difficult, is that her sacrifice comes with purely authentic love, and that she did all she did happily. And that, is truly something worth noting as an “American Dream”, millions of Latino/as parents want the dream for their children and a nightmare for themselves. We can surely do better.

All became relevant--painfully relevant--to see the face of unimaginable joy and euphoria on my mother’s face the day I graduated. She will forever be a warrior, and I am proud to be a product of her greatness. The opportunity to obtain an education needs to be widely available, as it will help use work collectively for a more just future. That is our duty and responsibility above all others.

On Deportations, LGB 't' Advocates Walk a Fine Line

Latina/os, like myself, who identify as LGB ‘t’ find it difficult to prioritize their politics–as in–it is difficult enough to work through the politics of something like obtaining legal status as an undocumented person, to then add the fact of being LGB ‘t’, simply because one has to deal with two undervalued social categories instead of one. A perfect example of this are the negotiations about immigration reform as they relate to same-sex married couples.

Currently, congressional advocates for LGB ‘t’ immigration reform are reintroducing the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) and will release a letter from forty-eight House members urging the Obama administration to suspend deportations faced by married same-sex couples. The UAFA prevents the deportation and separation of families due to legal status that may either vary or be in negotiation. The letter aims to make UAFA inclusive of same-sex couples by the recognition of the Obama administration, including the Department of Homeland Security. The problem however, are bureaucracies like the Board of Immigration Appeals that have Section III of DOMA on their side, which prohibits immigration relief to married same-sex couples.

So they think.

The Obama administration is already showing leadership by defending the rights of same-sex couples facing deportation, even without UAFA. Attorney General Holder took a bold step, by vacating (makes a previous legal judgment legally void) a decision where the Board of Immigration Appeals applied DOMA. Adding to the good news, King & Spalding, the law firm that GOP leadership hired to defend DOMA in court, dropped the case.

Lavi Soloway, attorney and co-founder of Immigration Equality comments on Holder’s decision: “This is precisely why we must continue to advocate for the executive branch to implement administrative remedies to keep couples from being torn apart, remedies which include instituting a moratorium on deportations.” I could not agree more. Historically, the rights of the few have been protected by the few — executive branch and the Court. The Obama administration, and similarity the Court, need to bring DOMA to an end. I can not stress the danger of negotiating LGB politics in legislatures. We need aggressive executive leadership that will transform into solidified constitutional precedent once the Court repeals DOMA. Legislatures are not the answer, and neither are “the people”, as referendums are notoriously reactionary. Think of history: Brown v/s Board of Education? Or a public vote on integrating public schools? Trust the Court. Trust the administration, despite their faults, and there are many, they are allies to the LGB community. Next, they need to advocate for federally recognized protection of gender and gender expression.

With that said, I strongly advise gay rights advocates for same-sex marriage to pick their battles very carefully. Stepping into the debate with the equality flag will only give anti-immigration advocates tools to twist the debates in their favor. Similarly, I think the same-sex marriage issue will fix itself with the repeal of DOMA, which I strongly believe will happen. We have the entire administration on our side, including the legal leadership of Holder, public opinion on our side, and most importantly, a somewhat progressive Court, that I am sure, is insightful enough to know how catastrophic a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage would be. We have nearly 60 years of precedent supporting “privacy”.

Open Letter to the University of New Hampshire Administration Regarding David Cote

Published in The New Hampshire

Administrators,

It is difficult for me write this- the subject is complicated, but nevertheless critical. Two weeks ago, I published an opinion piece in TNH entitled, "Cote a bad choice for commencement." David Cote is the CEO of Honeywell Inc., a UNH alum, and the keynote speaker for our 2011 commencement ceremony. I wrote about his poor record regarding workers, and reflected on his problematic status as an American CEO - especially the political dissonance that's being stirred up by this increasingly destructive reactionary movement we are dealing with. I criticized the UNH administration about itsperceivably uncritical deliberations in finalizing its decision to invite Cote. I attempted to persuade the UNH community to not be compelled by the argument that somehow it's our fault for being unhappy with Cote because we did not participate actively enough in the nomination process. Our domestic and global desperation is far greater that some tedious nomination process that tries to make invisible the fundamental problem. Cote's selection sends a message of arrogance through loaded implications about our university. Although we don't "officially" endorse Cote's politics, we do by association.

If anti-working class sentiment and the disturbing transparencies that suggest our public universities are being run as corporations weren't enough, now comes the publicly available yet untold story about Honeywell's relationship with the U.S. government. Honeywell is one of the largest beneficiaries of the now estimated $750 billon defense budget; the defense budget accounts for nearly 20 percent of the overall budget. The technology that Honeywell manufactures is some of the most advanced, and includes missile-guiding systems. I urge you all to read Nathan Tabak's detailed article on Honeywell, which walks you through Honeywell's defense contracts. It also includes a letter from Honeywell to its shareholders regarding its collective lobbying effort (which they spent $1.9 million on) for the U.S. congress not to cut a thing from the defense budget. Curiously enough, Cote sits on President Obama's "National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform." If, in fact, our illegal occupations in the Middle East are one of the major causes for this so-called "deficit," then I remain unclear of Cote's sense of "fiscal responsibility and reform," as his company lobbies to sustain one of the most reckless industries of spending. Perhaps the term "ethical" should be included in the title of President Obama's teatime with corporate executives commission, as they might question some of the profound tensions and hypocrisies in their policies. The war is a profit machine for American corporations.

Despite the shock that will develop as Honeywell and Cote's record becomes more visible in our community, it's not at all surprising. This is business as usual. I do not expect that any person with global influence will read this letter, or choose to deal with the disheartening fact that many in this community are not even marginally compelled by the fact that the privileges and comforts we hold as Americans are protected by our subversive involvement in supporting and financing terrorism. Even though we acknowledge that we are the most privileged people in the world, the rights of many in our country are under attack. How convenient it is for Honeywell to send a letter to shareholders and organize a collective voice against the government for their interests (assisted, of course, by massive capital) while workers' ability to unite their voices collectively for something as basic as a reasonable contract is being trampled on by Cote and so many others.

My question now is: how do we deal with this situation? Is the solution to protest graduation - the moment when hundreds of proud parents will sit and forget that their house was almost foreclosed on to fund their children's education? When students, some putting themselves through school, don't want to think about the tens of thousands in loans that they will soon face without a job? Is it to cut off Cote from being a potential donor (which by the way, is the only rational justification for his selection)? Meanwhile, our university is already poorly funded and a further cut of $31 million dollars is being proposed by the legislature, chipping away incrementally at what is barely left of public education.

Because it pains me not to ask the obvious question of why and how we continue to live our comfortable lives as we compromise the lives of innocent people around the world, I ask this administration to localize this global problem to our community, and ask: even if our opinions are meaningless, in this already corrupt system, regarding the rights of workers and the countless lives of children we take over seas - simply - why are we choosing to endorse that disturbing reality at commencement, the one day that we can imagine hope, and at least lie to ourselves about being justice-promoting people? Let us reflect on that fact that our actions matter. Ask David Cote not to speak.

I ask the administration to respond publicly to this letter and recognize our voices of concern, that above all believe that we are an institution that stands for transparency, honesty and justice.

Remembering our History: "El Mozote"

The massacre that took place in El Mozote, El Salvador in 1981 serves as a chilling reminder of the human cost of war. Mark Danner’s narrative of the massacre is a vivid and disturbing picture of the massacre committed by Salvadorian armed forces starting on December 10, 1981. Perhaps the only ‘good’ thing about Danner’s book is his intoxicating syntax and the brilliant sophistication of his narration skills, other than that, it serves its purpose--to show the extreme violence used against the innocent civilians of a small village (nearly 1000 killed) and the US’s role in financing and endorsing the massacre.

As I reflect on the events of “El Mozote”, it is difficult to ignore the images of rape, torture, and cold-blooded assassination that run through my mind, but perhaps more difficult, is negotiating my position in the world, the value of my Americanism, and my sense of responsibility that remains unpacked and uncritical--running parallel to a historical record that is saturated with US supported terrorism as a means to global supremacy.

The massacre at El Mozote, although widely unknown, both in cultural discourse and negligibly absent from the main-stream American pedagogical canon, is a crucial moment in the Cold War. “El Mozote” severs as the “parable” of the Cold War, teaching a moral lesson and revealing the ethical tensions in the construction of American foreign policy during the Cold War in Latin America, particularly the problematic framework of exercising rigid ideology in foreign policy. Whether an “anti-communist” or “human rights” policy, the disconnect between American foreign policy and the people of Latin America resulted in a serious loss of human life.

I will briefly discuss American foreign policy towards El Salvador leading up to “El Mozote” and how the people of El Salvador were caught in the middle of very problematic political negotiations. I argue the following points:

1)Both the “anti-communist” and “human rights” approach towards El Salvador were problematic.

2)Regardless of with policy, the people of El Salvador suffered. The people of El Mozote had no where go, and know one to trust, leaving everyone at fault for the massacre (except the people of El Mozote of course).


From Détente to Carter: “News has a kind of mystery”

American composer John Adams wrote the opera “Nixon and China” in 1987. As a young boy studying music in New Jersey, I checked-out a VHS copy from the library. I did not know what the connection between Nixon and China was, and more important, I had no idea what American opera sounded like. I was used to Mozart and Wager. I’ll never forget the opening. The Spirit of 76 lands on the stage, President Nixon comes down the stairs with Pat Nixon and Henry Kissinger. President Nixon then come forwards and shakes the hand of Premier Chou En-la, he begins to sing an obsessive melody, the text: “news has a kind of mystery”. I am not a huge fan of Adams, but that is certainly a profound opening. It describes the Cold War post-Nixon perfectly. It also serves as as an explanation of the events of “El Mozote” nearly ten years after Nixon landed in China. Nixon was worried about how the world would report the historic moment, what would they think of him, what would the world think of America, and what it meant to show “weakness” during the Cold War.

Nixon embraced a policy of Détente (co-existence) to easy-up on the growing tensions between the communist and non-communist super powers. Of course, its rhetoric and application were quite different. Nixon was certainly not practicing “co-existence” with Latin America. After the successful removal of President Allende of Chile, the U.S continued to reinforce the the expansion of liberal economics and the destruction of the Left in South America. While attention on South America was going full force, Central America was gearing up for yet another attempt at the Left. In El Salvador, the FMLN (Frente Farabundo Martí para la Liberación Nacional) sprung full force by 1980, this, after a period of stagnation during the Ford Administration. U.S foreign policy towards Central America and El Salvador during the Nixon Administration was primarily about building allies who supported the economic interests of the U.S. Through providing aid to countries like El Salvador, they maintained a solid base of political support. Of course, their reason for providing aid was purely political and not at all humanitarian. Through the election of Carter we saw that the policy of “softly” building allies though U.S aid to strengthen hemispheric hegemony was going to change.

Shocked by the amount of human rights that were being violated as a result of U.S economic involvement in Latin America,
Carter advocated for a policy of “human rights”, which refocused the way the U.S supplied aid to Latin America. Under the “human rights” policy, the U.S would provide aid to countries that were observing human rights. By changing the authoritarian framework, and committing to protect human rights, the pathways towards democracy were more likely to happen.
Both of these strategies were inefficient. Especially in El Salvador, while the U.S supported El Salvador pre-Carter to build compliance, there were no requirements for the aid--just, “ fight against communism”. In terms of the “human rights” approach, there was a requirement, “do not violates your people’s basic rights”-- however, in both cases, there was no infrastructure in place to see where the money was going. Similarly, there was no accurate way to define a foreign country as “observing” human rights, when there was no system in place to monitor their government.

In the case of El Salvador, while the Carter Administration provided aid to El Salvador for their compliance in observing human rights, the money was funding an increasingly conservative government that would, after Carter, be pressured by the Reagan Administration to act against Leftist forces.

Although good-willed, whether aid is being provided for observing human rights, or for fighting “softly” or “aggressively” communism, the fact of the matter is, money is coming in, and no one knows where it is going. This creates an economic foundation for any political system to act accordingly to their interests, especially if there is sudden change in foreign policy--like what happened after Carter with the election of Richard Nixon.

Reagan: Re-energizing Tension & the Return of the Hard-Liner Approach

The election of Ronald Reagan surely meant trouble for Latin America. Through his critiques of “softness” on behalf of the U.S towards communism under the Carter Administration. Reagan sought out to establish the U.S as a hard-liner against communism, because of the lack of attention on behalf of U.S could result in a massive overtake of the Left in Central America.
With substantial flows of revenue provided by the Carter Administration and the aggressive shift in the Reagan Administration, and the rise of the FMLN as a guerrilla group. Regan committed his Administration to taking down the communists. Reagan increased the amount of aid going to El Salvador, not for “human rights” but for military aid to fight the FMLN and other Leftist groups forming against the Salvadorian government. In addition, CIA operative began to train the Salvadorian army.
This radical shift highlights that as long as aid was being provided, despite ideology, it funded the Salvadorian government for its political interest, having nothing to do, of course, with the people of El Salvador.

“El Mozote”: Caught in the Transition

On December 10, 1981, Salvadorian armed-forces, financed and trained by the U.S, arrived at El Mozote, a remote village in El Salvador, under a lead of FMLN activity in the area. When faced with a population of farmers of around 1,000 (some estimate), the Salvadorian forces proceeded to massacre the population over two days of interrogations concerning the FMLN’s whereabouts and activity.

Like Nixon, the Reagan Administration faced once again the “news has a kind of mystery” situation. How would the world react? Under the umbrella of spreading democracy and fighting the “evils” of the Left, we were partially responsible for the death of hundreds. And in the case of “El Mozote”, people that really had nothing to do with it.

Although the U.S was clearly a large contributor to this horror, in a way, everyone was at fault. The events at El Mozote show that the innocent will always pay the price for battles of ideology. The people of El Mozote had nothing to do with this mess. The FMLN was partially to blame, as their activity in the area put many at risk. The Salvadorian forces were certainly at fault for showing such abysmal ethics and profound disregard for human rights. They really did apply brute force with no just cause. The people of El Mozote were not armed, were clearly not the leaders of a guerrilla group, the children who were slaughtered, women and girls who were raped and killed, and farmers who were gun-fired to death were not concerned with arguments of Right vs. Left. The were concerned with living their everyday lives. And, of course, the U.S was at fault for training and funding the Salvadorian armed-forces and intervening in El Salvador.

You would think that after such undeserved pain and suffering, the U.S would have stepped-back and reflected on our mistakes. On the contrary, the Reagan Administration worked to hide the massacre from the press. Similarly, the FMLN used the event as propaganda and the Salvadorian armed-forces did not admit fault.
The result was the death of hundreds for something they simply had no involvement in. Not knowing were to go or who to trust, the people of El Mozote paid with their lives.

Andy Carvin: "The Digital Divide"

My belief is that justice is unobtainable without mass-literacy. In addition ,mass-literacy cannot come to fruition without a radically public system of education.

Learning is technological; from classes requiring blogs and live journals, to the simple fact, that, it is impossible to write a research paper without the internet. Even if you use print sources, where and how are these sources cataloged? Databases.

Like all access to information and in this case, access to technologies that contain information, we find that there is no new trend in the way that these technologies are distributed. Presumably, they would be distributed democratically. One might argue that distribution would never function democratically under an economic system such as capitalism. I am finding that argument particularly insufficient lately.

Andy Carvin is National Public Radio's senior product manager for online communities. He was the founding editor and former coordinator of the Digital Divide Network, an online community of more than 10,000 Internet activists in over 140 countries working to bridge the digital divide.

His work is on the “digital divide,” which he defines as “...the ever-growing gap between those people and communities who have access to information technology and those who do not.” Carvin continues to tell us the the “digital divide” is one of the most pressing civil rights issues of our time. I agree. Primarily because he walks us through the multilayered condition of the divide; most advocated for democratic technology do not. Most call for an increase in access without taking into consideration the many issues that come with unregulated access. Carvin instructs us of the following intersections: The digital divide is about:

*Access
*Content
*Literacy
*Pedagogy

Carvin explains that in order to democratize the world of the internet we must be aware of content, most of our time on-line is spent on foolishness (Facebook, online shopping) Functional adult illiteracy is at an all time high, many adults don’t read -- so what is the ‘use’ of limitless access. In terms of pedagogy, we must realize that we need people who are prepared to use technology properly, and more important, productively. The problem is not necessarily in the functionality of the internet and how people can learn the basics of tech-navigation (many people have that problem) but rather, how can the internet improve our lives and the community.

I agree that the "digital divide" is a civil rights issue that we must begin to unpack and try to fix, but we must be aware of the downfalls of populous politics.